Mrs Anke

Jubilee Quiz

I've spent a jolly morning buzzing around town (down to Judit's coffee making skills at Caffe Nero), admiring the efforts our retailers have made to celebrate the Diamond Jubilee. Some have done our Royal town proud; some are, well, a bit meh, and some are downright bonkers. Here are some which caught my eye, but can you guess which shop they belong to? No prizes for getting them all right…if I like you, though, I might buy you a pint…

A Mod-come-Beefeater ensemble. Fact: Beefeaters hate being called that, you have to call them Yeoman Warders apparently (thanks to Dragon and Flagon Pub Tours for that nugget).	They've eschewed the usual red, white and blue in favour of their corporate (lack of) colour. This is lovely, though; my favourite window.	Bit more Cartland than Queenie, but a glorious (and fragrant) display nonetheless.
Tut! Tut! This is verging on treason, surely!	…as is this - Lizzie looks psychotic!	A charming, if historically inaccurate display.
Bit of a half-arsed effort, to be honest…	I'll leave you to make your own double entendres for this one...	This one's strictly for the Beefeaters.
Don't think this one's intentional, but I was struck by the bold minimalist lines all the same.	Mr Anke could pick up a shirt while he's here.	How I imagine Lizzie's parlour would look.
What's she hoping to find up there exactly?	Looking a bit the worse for wear.	Awwww!
Ribbit.	Royal Spice.	A throne fit for a royal bottie.
A great British bargain.	Clue's in the pun...	What can I say? Completely lost for words on this one.
Sew pretty! (groan)	The Velvet Underground and I	A cut above the other displays?

Have a lovely long weekend, everybody! Save me a coronation chicken sarnie!

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Happy Valley

Fingers crossed that this glorious sunshine continues - it's looking a bit hit and miss at this precise moment. But if the sun does decide to be kind to us, and you're wondering how to make the most of it, then my advice would be to have a stroll to Happy Valley, and while you're at it, stop for refreshments at the newly-refurbished Mount Edgcumbe bar, or the Beacon, or preferably both. Happy Valley's so lovely and tranquil this time of year - a place that the word "idyllic" was invented for. Slightly muddy underfoot I'll admit, but what's a mucky toe or two amongst friends? If you like little things that crawl, fly or wriggle, now's the time to visit - the creepy crawlies are very active this time of year. You might even be able to spot a snake swimming across the pond. Anyway, don't listen to me. These pictures I nicked off Mr Anke should be enough to persuade you…

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Farmers' Market

Because of my weird working hours, I'm usually fast asleep when the Farmers' Market's on, but due to unforeseen "illness" of the self-inflicted variety, I was up and about on Saturday morning, and managed go along for bit of a shufty. I couldn't have picked a better day for it - the produce was looking particularly spectacular, thanks in no small measure to all of that rain we'd had. I thought I may as well pick up a few bits and pieces, but feeling a bit out of sorts, I ended up with a bit of a Ready Steady Cook situation on my hands.

Anyway, this is what I ended up with:

Purple Peas from Pannel Organic: The only difference I can tell between these and the green ones is that they're slightly cheaper and, well, purple. These were never intended for the cooking pot - peas in the pod go straight from pod to gob in this house.

Celery from Pannel Organic: If I see big bushy devils like these, I can never resist them - this is what celery should be. The smell of fresh, leafy celery is glorious. I absolutely love celery leaves, they're an excellent salad ingredient, and it irks me no end that supermarkets chop them off and just leave us with the sticks.

Alarmingly blue potatoes from The Potato Cart: I bought a bag of these salad blues - blue all the way through - which I'm told have a chestnutty taste. I'll try these with a shallot and vinegar dressing on a later date. But what I needed were a couple of good old roasties to soothe my predicament.

Pork sausages from Farmer Palmer: See? I told you I was feeling at odds with myself. There's no way I'd usually go near a sausage, but I thought these looked a lot nicer than your average sausage. And they were truly impressive - herby and flavoursome, and I didn't come across any gristle at all. Which is a novelty for me, because I attract gristle much in the same way as cat haters seem to attract cats.

Some medium, free range eggs (I read that large ones hurt the hens' botties, and that upset me greatly) from Philpotts Farm.

So, weighing up my options, there only seemed one direction to go in:

Tiny Toads for a Poorly Mrs Anke

Taking advantage of Mr Anke's absence, I accompanied my tiny toads with some really overdone, crunchy roasties - he likes his soft and pale. I get really good results using rapeseed oil, which was also bought from the Farmers' Market on an earlier occasion. And for a bit of greenery, I braised a couple of celery stick with some onion in a bit of stock.

A muffin tray
60g plain flour
Generous pinch of salt
75oz semi-skimmed milk, made up to the 150 mark with water
1 medium egg, beaten
Pack of sausages
Vegetable oil

Sieve the flour and salt into a bowl, make a well, and pour in your beaten egg and a bit of the milk mix. Beat in with a wooden spoon, and keep adding more milk gradually until it's all combined to make a smooth batter. Leave your batter in the jug in the fridge for at least an hour, but the longer the better - if you can do it overnight, then that's ideal (don't ask me why, it just is).

When you're ready to cook, heat the oven to 220 C. Pour a bit of the oil into each muffin hole - the amounts above will give you enough for 4 or 5 toads - and put back in the oven until the oil is smoking hot. Meanwhile, fry your pack of sausages. You will only need to use 1 or 2 for this dish, the rest are on sandwich duty for later. The ones you need for this dish don't need to be completely cooked - just fish them out of the pan and leave the others in to brown up.

When your oil is ready, chop the sausage/s into three or four bitesize pieces (it's not an exact science), take your tray out of the oven and drop them into your smoking holes. Quickly pour the batter from the fridge over them - and you need to work quickly, because the hotter the oil, and the colder the batter, the more spectacular your toads will be. Cook for about 25-30 minutes. The braised celery has a nice, sticky stocky sauce, but by all means add HP, or ketchup, or Bisto.

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Film Night

The Polyopticon says a few welcoming words to the punters.

Last Thursday night will not be a night I'll forget in a hurry. Well, not until the air guitar playing to Hotel California started, but that's another story entirely. Anyway, before the evening descended into a drunken farrago (and you can read all about that over at Bill Sykes's blog), Karen, Mr Strange and I went to the Wells Kitchen to attend the inaugural Polyopticon film screening.

Now, I've racked up a few cinema experiences in my life - some great (Trinity's hosted a fair few of those), some not so (still bearing the mental scars from Bedknobs & Broomsticks), but this surely has to be The Ultimate Experience. When we entered Bar Kitsch, there were "Ooooohs!" and "Aahhhhhs!" aplenty as we all took in the inviting rows of comfy couches, and the absolute clincher - get this - waiter service. "It's like we've died and gone heaven!" I whispered excitedly to Mr Strange, and he - a discerning man who is very hard to impress - agreed with me.

The Polyopticon made an impeccable choice of film - the much-loved Withnail & I. Its endless stream of quotable lines are so quotable that even Mr Anke - not really a Withnail enthusiast - is often heard to mutter the immortal line "We've gone on holiday! By mistake!", which unfortunately is something we Ankes tend to do a lot.

Kudos to The Polyopticon - who occasionally is goes by the name "Daniel" - for going that extra mile with his passion for film, and giving us RTW residents a real treat. And, of course, The Wells Kitchen, for hosting such a great event. These film nights will be happening every second Thursday, and the next one, on the 7th June, provides the perfect opportunity for us laydees lose ourselves in a pair of ice-blue eyes on one hand, and a lovely big bushy ginger moustache on the other - Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid. Yum! Pop into the Wells Kitchen to buy your ticket (£7) and treat yourself to a Freedom Pilsner while you're there.

Ladybits Asks The Polyopticon Some Probing Questions:

Favourite film?
So hard! I love the Matrix because it is great scifi and it was so revolutionary when it came out. Just too many! I really liked the original Let the Right One In so atmospheric and gripping. I love Hot Fuzz. See, just too many!

Least favourite film?
Hmmm Catwoman was terrible! I hate old fashioned westerns - always remind me of boring childhood Sundays!

Biggest Tearjerker?
Corny I guess but Schindler's List made me cry.

Which actor would play you in your life story?
Hmmmm other than the obvious - young Brad Pitt :) - maybe Elvis, my aunt reckons I look like a fat version of Elvis!

Which film would you most like to screen?
One film I would like to screen is a German film called the Lives of Others - an amazing film that everyone should see (Ladybits says: I have to concur with this, it really is a great film)

Favourite Carry On film?
I hate Carry On films!

Which decade do you consider to be the best for films?
Best film decade is really tough, but I think there are always great films in every decade so it is about the great films not the decades (LB says: You see, I probably would have said '70s, because of the Carry On films!)

Hotdog or box of fruit gums?
Fruit gums I think. But I liked the look of the hotdogs on Thursday ;) (LB says: please note that the Wells Kitchen's hotdogs were made with proper Cumberland Sausages - regular visitors to my Ladybits will know exactly what I think of THAT!)

Salty or sweet?
Salty every time!

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Wild Garlic

decided to take advantage of the lack of rain today and venture outside to investigate the wild garlic situation. Well, I'm pleased to report that it's at its zenith - lush, fully blooming, and very very smelly. Now, I know that pesto tends to be the favoured fate of wild garlic, but there are other ways. For example, somebody very clever - I've got a sneaky feeling it was Hari Covert - told me to fry it until it's crispy, which gives it a lovely oriental slant.

But seeing as Mr Anke and I are in the process of getting our sexy beach bodies primed and ready for summer, our dinners are at present tending to go down the fish and salad route. We like this one - a satisfying, ballsy salad, which goes perfectly with a nice seared slab of rare tuna. Not only do the flowers look pretty, but they don't half pack a punch, too. Just make sure you've got plenty of Listerine in the house before you attempt this one.

Wild Garlic Salad

A pack of tomatoes, chopped and deseeded
Half a cucumber, peeled, deseeded diced and left for a bit with a sprinkling of salt to dry them out a bit
Half a shallot, or some onion, or some spring onion, chopped
Handful of chopped wild garlic, and some flower heads to scatter over the top if you fancy a bit of poncification
A few anchovies from a tin, chopped
A few capers, chopped
A pinch of chilli flakes
A good splash of balsamic vinegar
A good couple of glugs of olive oil
A few other bits of greenery - I've gone for parsley and celery leaves

Instructions: Mix everything together.

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