Eating Out in Tunbridge Wells

Junahki

63 St. Johns Road, Royal Tunbridge Wells
Kent TN4 9TT 01892 615200

Many of you have been enthusing about the food at Junahki, so I took the wife down to the St. Johns Quarter to see what all the fuss was about. And sure enough, although it was empty when we arrived, it didn't take long for the place to get packed to the rafters, and on a Tuesday night too.
If we'd encountered the wife's crabcakes anywhere else, it would most likely have won the Who's Got The Best Starter contest. However, in the face of my majestic Chott Poti, it didn't even get a look in. If I could give six stars to a course, this would get them with flying colours. Goodness knows how you can get a plate of spuds, peas, chickpeas and chicken to be so darned tasty, but I guess that's the magical alchemy of expert Indian spiceology. I've never wanted to stick my head in a bucket of chickpeas before, or even be within a mile of them, but I guess there's a first time for everything.
The skill with which Indian cuisine uses spices is down partly to necessity - to make a piece of not so nice meat as palatable as possible. It would have been nice if my main course of Bollywood Dreams hadn't followed this particular piece of authenticity to the letter. I didn't particularly enjoy chewing at a tired, old piece of leathery mutton, but I just ignored the old sheep because the sauce was exquisite and I was happy to scoop it up with my plain naan (big and fluffy with a lovely black bottom). The wife's halibut was certainly better quality than my lamb, but was completely overwhelmed by a humdinger of a sauce, so they may as well have stuck a piece of rotten old coley in and the dish probably wouldn't have been diminished too much.
Two courses and a couple of cobras was just over forty quid, although you could safely shave this down a tad by not ordering the expensive fish course; the sauces are the stars of the show here. Make sure you order plenty of naan for maximum dippage and away you go. A week on and I'm still having Chott Poti dreams!

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The Bull

79 Frant Road, Royal Tunbridge Wells
Kent TN2 5LH 01892 536526

With its blackboard and scrubbed wooden tables, The Bull might want you to think its a gastropub, but do not be fooled. This is simply a nicely done out pub which does a really nice line in good quality pub food. It's nice, light and airy on the inside, but this being a hot balmy day, we took out beers out back to the rather pleasant walled garden.
I went for the steak and ale pie, which was actually more of a pudding. Lovely beef and rib-sticking gravy on a thick, spongy suet base, and a side dish of honest, unmucked about boiled veggies. Despite the summer's day, I couldn't bear to leave a scrap, and found room to try the wife's heavenly chunky chips - none of your poncy frites here. Her burger was a real bells-and-whistles extravaganza: beetroot, relish, mozzarella, ham, and somewhere amongst all that razamatazz a rather nice burger.
A concise but good choice of draught beers, I went for the Japanese lager and the wife went for the Dutch. A nice touch. At £25 quid for one course each and a couple of lagers it definitely costs more than your average pub grub, but then again, you're definitely paying for what you get. And the location in perfect as you will need the walk into town to recover!

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Cochin Marine

49 Grosvenor Road, Royal Tunbridge Wells
Kent TN1 2AY 01892 616742

Lurking near the busy roundabout of Grosvenor Road, Mount Ephraim, Cochin Marine doesn't look like the kind of place you'd take the wife out to for a romantic dinner. But seeing as I like Indian food, and the wife likes seafood, it would seem like this would be the kind of place which would make us both happy.
We have to give them half a point straight off the bat because they gave both the wife and myself a pint glass of Cobra - she gets very irked by this half pint business which certain other Indians around town engage in.
For starters, although my onion bhajis were light and moist and delicious, the wife ordered a seafood soup which was so tasty I ended up stealing most of it. For mains I had the crab meat a la cochin, which was spiced to the degree of being tasty rather than painful. Its all too common for Indian restaurants to cook their fish within an inch of its life, but these people are experts, so my wife's whole fish had been cooked in a banana leaf to retain its tenderness. Because our mains were dry they gave us a little pot of curry sauce to wet things up a bit - very nice.
I couldn't eat my kerala crepes because they were too heavy on the cardamom for my personal taste, but happily this meant I could wheedle my wife into surrendering her mango lassi to me. Result! Incidentally, if you happen to have not tried a mango lassi, then you really must put this on your to-do list. And there are worse places to do it at than this place. The staff are attentive and knowledgeable, the food is just that little bit different, and forty quid for a three course meal is a pretty good deal.

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Le Rendez-Vous

12-14 Camden Rd, Royal Tunbridge Wells,
Kent TN1 2PT 01892 525565

As the name would suggest, Le Rendez-Vous wants you to come here and meet your friends for a bit of brekkie, or a cup of coffee, or a spot of lunch. When we found out that this is the second project of the owner of the fabulous Chez JJ we were down there quick sharp. Even though this is a completely new restaurant from the inside out, the atmosphere still had the depressing whiff of Delicious and Delicious 2 (the restaurant that graced the building beforehand), which as a place which seems to be playing itself as the new Relish is not too great. But one thing it doesn't have is the shrill sound of the under fives, which goes heavily in its favour. Never mind, lets get to the food. I had the usual staple of the house's special burger and chips which was actually quite poor with its flavourless meat, oven chips and lacklustre salad, whilst my wife couldn't resist the Pork Belly which was as lovely as certain other establishments in town and half the price. As we were completely at odds with our lunch scores, we thought it best to pop in the next morning for a spot of breakfast. We were alone in the restaurant that morning as we sat and ordered from the menu. The same could be said for what we ordered, as our choice was basically it. To be fair the tartine of scrummy scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage and tomato was very delicious and pretty much what you'd expect from a Carluccio's breakfast but for half the money. The coffee was nice too with just the right amount of crema and caffeine to kick-start your day. Interestingly another couple arrived halfway through our breakfast and requested a vegetarian breakfast but were basically given polite but short shrift. A shame, because surely if you just took the sausages and bacon off and loaded it with mushrooms, you would have a lovely veggie option with minimum hassle? In conclusion, its worthy of a try but Relish does a better lunch and Carluccio's do a better breakfast, but both are more expensive and a lot noisier.

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Signor Franco

5a High Street, Royal Tunbridge Wells
Kent TN1 1UL 01892 549199

Walking down the High Street on a Wednesday night, and we were getting increasingly worried. Strada: packed to the gills. Wagamama: packed to the gills. Carluccio's: packed to the gills. Everywhere: packed to the gills! All of Tunbridge Wells, eating out, all at the same time. We KNEW we should have booked ahead at Signor Franco's!! However, despite the fact they've always struggled to accommodate us on previous outings, on this occasion, there was NOBODY in there! Why on earth would that be? As the evening, and the final bill unfolded, all was revealed.
Hit-and-miss starters: my seafood tagliolini was stunning, but my wife's calamari in salsa verde, although a winner in concept, was just a wee bit "over" and she spent the starter pulling faces at the thumb prints round the rim of her plate. Mains were absolutely great. I had a beautiful sirloin steak cooked in Barolo - the best steak I've had in town, and my wife had a beautifully cooked bream. But get this: that is all we had. So mine was just a slab of meat on a plate. Nowt else. If we HAD gone for sides, it would have pushed the cost of our mains well over the twenty quid mark, and, I'm sorry, I know Barolo is a pricey way to make a sauce but that's still taking the preverbials. Good but overpriced is forgivable; we were heading for a 3 star score, maybe a 3.5, and then the puddings came and we were soon shedding stars like nobody's business. Squirty cream and a mass of something so indescribably bad I cannot even think of something on this earth it resembled, was billed as "profiteroles". Wife's orange liqueur thing was okay, though.
On balance, more hit than miss, but certainly nowhere near worth £111; a good proportion of this was due to us being perpetually plied with wine by the over-attentive waiters, even being refilled when there was no refilling to be done. There's not really that much reason why you would fork out that much money to come here when you can get reliable, fresh and tasty food down the road at Strada for a fraction of the price.
I'm just reading a piece in the Guardian about how many prestige restaurants in the capital are offering special deals to try to beat the credit crunch, and our own Thackeray's is tempting us out of our frugality with a rather alluring mid-week meal deal (my next blog I imagine). Please watch and learn, Signor Franco, because the chains down the road are whipping your ass and this is a great pity.

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Spice Club

37 Mount Ephraim, Royal Tunbridge Wells
Kent TN4 8AA 01892 511119

Because The Spice Club is the long-running title holder of The Worst Meal I Have Ever Eaten In Tunbridge Wells, I've deliberately given it a wide berth since I started reviewing restaurants - it just doesn't seem right to go to a restaurant with the express purpose of giving it a rubbish review. However, enough time has lapsed, and enough people have said they love it here for me to give it another go. I gave them a sporting chance by avoiding the lamb shank, just in case it was as inedible as it was the first time round.
At least they've got the poppadums right - the usual ones you expect in any Indian and not those awful thick, starchy discs which for some reason they decided to serve up at the aforementioned Worst Meal. So far, so good. For starters we gnawed our way through some hard, rubbery cod and crab fishcakes and potato cakes, which tasted like they'd just been hacked out from the back of the freezer, where they'd been residing for the last decade.
As far as mains were concerned, my lamb dhaba murgh was certainly a lot better than the aforementioned lamb shank, and I might even have found it quite pleasant if I had been overtaken by an insane, overwhelming cardamon fetish, which I certainly hadn't. The wife's sea bass was possibly the most beautifully cooked fish we've encountered in an Indian restaurant, but could have been any fish by the time the sauce had bullied it into submission. But she liked her chickpeas and asparagus, I liked my rice and naan, and I do commend them for an interesting menu and for attempting a fresh, different approach to Indian cuisine. It's certainly not the worst Indian in town, but it wouldn't be my first choice either. Or second or third come to think of it.
And I spent the entire meal gazing wistfully at Firebelly's and wondering why on earth I wasn't in there!

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Il Vesuvio

112 Camden Road, Royal Tunbridge Wells
Kent TN1 2QX 01892 534420

If you’re feeling a bit down in the dumps with the state of the world, then may I recommend a trip to Il Vesuvio? It’s the gastronomic equivalent of a huge, fat hug and has less side effects than Prozac. You cannot help but come out of this place smiling, and just a wee bit in love with the wonderfully welcoming Maria and Alessandro. Foodwise, our meal kicked off pretty well. I had a generous plate of whitebait to chomp through, and the missus enjoyed her sardines. Both plates were accompanied by what appeared to be a pile of rather dull leaves, but in true Italian style the drizzling of robust, peppery olive oil elevated them into something decent. Things went a bit off the boil when it came to the mains. Or rather on the boil for a bit too long – our pasta dishes were both decidedly on the overcooked side. If I fancy a plate of carbonara in the future, I will definitely be sticking to Strada. However, all was forgiven on the last leg with a redemptive wild berry pannacotta. My only criticism was that I would have liked a bucket of it so I could stick my head in it. These people do good puds. But what I really loved about Il Vesuvio was the bill. You really cannot argue with twenty quid a head for a bottle of wine and three courses. For all that, we also got a post-meal liqueur thrown in. The owners were in a particularly jubilant, celebratory mood that night, so we also got a small snifter of champagne on our way out, too! But the best thing of all? The company. For this review, I drafted in the help of valued Anke Blog contributor and Camden Road enthusiast Anne and her husband, Richard, to give us their verdict. So here’s the experience from Anne’s point of view:
Maria and Alessandro Bicardi gave us the warmest of Italian welcomes when we came to eat at their restaurant. You’re greeted at the door by Alessandro and given genuine attentive service by Maria throughout the meal. You’re waved off home smiling, as if you’re a member of their family. A liqueur and cantucci at the end of the meal and glass of bubbly as we were about to leave were unexpected treats. Il Vesuvio lifts you for a few hours into Italian sunshine. And it also helps if you are with very good company, as we were. The food is plentiful and filling, in the manner of a family trattoria. As a vegetarian, I always expect Italian restaurants to come up with good meat-free alternatives, and there were several dishes to choose from. I had a very hearty minestrone soup to start which was crammed with twelve different types of vegetable. Very satisfying, with not too much garlic. It could have had some parmesan sprinkled on top for added flavour, but I am sure this would have been provided had I asked. I then chose a vegetariana pizza which was very large – quite different from the downsized chain pizzas –and with plenty of cheese and colourful vegetables. I’ve never had aubergine on a pizza before. I missed mushrooms, which I always associate with vegetarian pizzas, but it’s good to have a change. I promised to share my tiramisu with my husband, but magically it disappeared before he had more than a spoonful. My husband reports that his Afffetado de la Casa – cured meat selection – was fine but he particularly liked his Lasagna with home-made pasta. He cleared the plate and said it was delicious. He also commented that the background music level was just right, enough to give an Italian atmosphere. Opening a new restaurant in these difficult economic times can’t be easy and we say ‘Cin cin’ to Maria and Alessandro for giving Tunbridge Wells a welcoming new place to eat.

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Masala

51 The Pantiles, Royal Tunbridge Wells
Kent TN2 5TE 01892 616700

We were spoilt for choice by the dazzling array of food on the menu; interesting dishes that we had never heard of before, and were keen to try, and the food was delicious. Well, that's what WOULD have happened had we gone to the Raj Pavillion, but we decided at the last minute to try previously unchartered territory, so Masala it was.
I have a great keenness for museums, so Masala should have been right up my street, because it's been about ten years since I've seen an Indian menu this old school. Tikka this, Masala that, Biryani this, and nothing in between. But if they wanted to change the food, they would have to reprint new menus, which they were obviously loathe to do, judging by the amount of tippex and biro we had to contend with. Still, just because the menu's a bit on the uninspiring side, it doesn't mean the food's going to be bad, does it?
It did take us ages to decide what we wanted because there just wasn't anything which particularly grabbed us, but I went for the mixed grill for starters, leaving the wife to go for the "Murug 65", which may sound like a Kurt Vonnegut novel, but in fact was a creamy mound of chicken and chickpeas. Mine was great - lovely, tender chicken, light, tasty bhajis and a perfect samosa. The wife's was "ho hum".
For the mains, I went for the "house special" of chicken masala, and the wife went for the chicken pasanda. Mine was a tomato based dish, thank goodness, because my wife's creamy dish had definitely, as I put it "turned the corner". She gamely ate one piece of chicken, but left the rest in its curdled deathbed, and stuck to the flabby naan instead. What both dishes had in common was that they tasted of absolutely nothing whatsoever, but did leave a bit of a kick in the back of the throat upon swallowing. Maybe their spices are past their use-by dates; they should get down to the Asian Supermarket down Grosvenor Road and get some new stock in, it's quite cheap in there. Rice was okay.
Puds were the usual "Punky Toy"/"Fabuloso"/sorbet in an orange or lemon/ice cream in a little bottle of liqueur type things (you know the drill), so we didn't bother.
We did manage to laugh through our pain, though. We particularly liked the strapline on the menu: "management refuses the right to serve anyone without reason", and just to make us feel even more at ease, each section of the mains was headed "rice is a required extra". Mercifully they didn't throw my wife out for not wanting any rice, so that was a relief. We were also rather tickled by our Cobras being served in a man-sized glass for me and a dainty half size glass for the little lady.
Would I recommend? Well, I suppose it's quite nice to sit at the window and look out over the Pantiles on a nice summer evening, as long as you stick to grilled food and avoid anything in a sauce. But even better still, just have a pint and a bowl of nuts over the road at the Ragged Trousers.
Let us know what you think.

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La Casa Vecchia

70-72 The Pantiles, Royal Tunbridge Wells
Kent TN2 5TW 01892 544700

On one of those rare summer days when the sun has actually bothered to shine, is there a lovelier way to while away the hours by having a long, lazy lunch on the Pantiles? And long and lazy it may be if you go to La Casa Vecchia, as it took them at least ten minutes to notice we'd sat down, and we were the only customers!
Still, the service once it came was pleasant enough, and you really can't go wrong with a big glass of quaffable house white and an okay bowl of pasta. It may have been even better if we'd received our jug of water, but we bizarrely had to wait til pudding to receive that. Still, at that point we were in forgiving moods, as my carbonara was really tasty and full of lovely salty bacon, and the wife was pleased with the generous portions of seafood in her spaghetti fruit de mer.
Then, unfortunately, we decided to go for the pudding menu, and more specifically, the options containing ice cream. The waitress enthusiastically approved of my choice of spagnola, but then, maybe she liked to crunch on unpleasant shards of ice when she eats ice cream. My wife's gelato affogato came with the espresso already poured over it, so all that arrived at the table was a mass of cold, coffee flavoured soup, rather than a pleasurable hit of hot, black, bitter coffee running into cold sweet ice cream, which is surely the point of this concoction.
So we by all means do recommend a lunchtime visit, making sure that it's your day off and not your lunch hour, but no matter how much you enjoy the main course, do not, I repeat, do NOT be tempted to have pudding. Just go to the newsagent's and get an ice lolly instead. And don't sit outside on a windy day, as we spent most of the meal holding the parasol in place!

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Raj Pavillion

20 Grove Hill Road, Royal Tunbridge Wells
Kent TN1 1RZ 01892 533435

After meeting up with some friends at a local pub we thought it customary to have a quick Indian meal before retiring home. A reader and regular commenter, John Hayes-Fisher, had recommended the Raj Pavillion to us a few days before so with him popping into in our minds we wandered up Grove Hill Road.
Being warmly welcomed into the tardis-like interior of the Raj we were sat down, covered with a napkin, and presented with a bowl of poppadums and a really great arrangement of dips. Delicious.
Choosing from the vast menu was a tough affair but we thought it best to select from the house specials. The food is remarkably good. I can definitely recommend the sticky Adroki Lamb Cutlets as a starter, just slightly beating my wife's Aloo Chops. For mains, we had Dum Ka Murugh and Murugh Shahjahani, both as tender as anything, utterly delicious and highly recommended if you are a bit of a wuss when it comes to hot food. We even got an interesting background story behind my wife's meal, which was apparently named after the builder of the Taj Mahal. But the star of the show was undoubtedly the naan – very, very nearly as good as they used to be in the Himalayan Gurkha. I wonder if they nicked their chef? It was a delight to dip into the remaining tasty sauces.
Unfortunately my wife realised halfway through her pudding that she was eating a “fantastico” rather than the “romantico” she ordered, but was more distracted by the fact that my ice cream came in the guise of an hilarious plastic penguin.
The waiters were attentive and polite, but a little too attentive when it came to refilling our wine glasses. These guys were seriously trying to get us plastered! Three courses and wine for £60, not bad at all.
Highly recommended, thanks John, and definitely a new favourite place to eat.

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Mooli

57-59 Calverley Road, Royal Tunbridge Wells
Kent TN1 2UY 01892 545499

Chosen as the venue to celebrate my birthday this year, we took an early sitting at the newly opened Mooli restaurant on Calverley Road.
My wife and I had differing opinions of this place, so I'll start with my thoughts and let my wife finish, as she normally does.
Greeted with a friendly smile from the waiter we took our seats, my wife took her chair and I took my sofa, well it was MY birthday. We were then presented with a complimentary bowl of poppadoms which were way too spicy and inedible, and chutneys that were too posh for their own good and just didn't work, especially seeing as though they were in bowls the size of thimbles which meant that you had to smash the poppadoms into a million pieces. Not a good start.
Taking an awful long agonising look over the menu we decided on the dumplings and the vegetable samosas, which were both very good. For main my wife chose the belly of pork soaked overnight in cumin seeds, coriander, turmeric and chillies marinade and I had the Mayalu lamb which was in a mild sauce blended with cream and honey. This is where our opinions began to differ.
Me: My dish was overly sweet and sickly but the special fried rice I had ordered to accompany it was very good, although my wife found my dish very tasty indeed when her fork came wandering over. Even dipping the naan, which in itself wasn't the best, didn't dampen the sweetness. To be honest all I could think of throughout the entire main course was the Himalayan Ghurkha on Church Road, which is just so much better.
Wife: Show me a place which does better pork belly than Mooli and I will show you, well, it doesn't really matter what I'll show you because you're a liar. So there. If we ARE heading for this recession that the experts keep banging on about, then I know that I will have to kiss goodbye to all those lovely meals out, and the hubby and me will have to huddle round a big pan of lentils instead. If I allowed myself one last restaurant meal, and one alone, I'm heading straight for Mooli. I will have this and then I will have the Holy Sweet, which is carrots cooked in milk for desert. Yes. You read that right. Carrots. Milk. Desert. All in the same sentence!
One of those places that must be tried, pay them a visit and let us know how you get on. For these differing reasons we have averaged our scores to come to the conclusion below.

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Thackerays

85 London Road, Royal Tunbridge Wells
Kent TN1 1EA 01892 511921

The first ever meal we ever ate in Tunbridge Wells was the taster menu at Thackeray’s a few years back, so it holds very special memories for us.  Sadly since then it’s lost it’s Michelin star, but on this occasion none of the magic.  We decided to go for broke and go for the taster menu with the wine option for £88, which was a revelation for us wine philistines.  It really did elevate the meal on to another level.  Anyway, apart from the wine, I would say the other highlights of the meal were the delicate tian of Dorset Crab with a beautiful sesame filo; the scallops, in particular, the one where they rather interestingly married it to caviar and creamed sweetcorn, and the most amazing, tender oxtail which accompanied the Aberdeen Angus beef.
I wouldn't personally say there were any lowpoints, although the missus suspected that her monkfish main may have been loitering on the hotplate for a bit too long; it was a little on the cold side, and the fish was slightly overcooked.  But accompanying the monkfish with a sage and butternut squash risotto with a dab of red wine dressing was an inspired, harmonious concept.
Whether or not they manage to regain their star remains to be seen, but people, we need to pull together and support this gem in our culinary portfolio.  There simply is nowhere else in our town attempting to bring us this sort of food, and for that they should be applauded.  Tunbridge Wells without Thackeray’s would be an absolute travesty.

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Gastronomia

7 The Pantiles, Royal Tunbridge Wells
Kent TN2 5TD 01892 618281

Gastronomia has a very special place in our hearts because it was here that we had our wedding reception, and boy, did they do us proud.
We were promised an "Italian feast", and that is what we got, so if you’re after an impartial, objective review, you’ve come to the wrong place.  We hadn’t been for a while, but made a point of visiting them for our anniversary lunch.
Mercifully all the things they do so well are still on the menu - lovely chicken casserole, sausage and lentil casserole, fish soup, fantastic lasagne - my personal fave, which I had on this occasion.
The missus had gnocchi with basil and pumpkin pesto, which I don't think even touched her sides - she certainly didn't let me have any!  It's lovely to sit there with your bottle of prosecco and scan the shelves for goodies - we seldom manage to walk out without making a purchase.
If you don't fancy cooking, it's always a nice option to go to the deli counter and pick up a few things.  Especially those anchovies!

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L'Italia a Tavola

3B Monson Road, Royal Tunbridge Wells
Kent TN1 1LS 01892 615 665

An avid reader kindly reminded us of this little gem in Monson Road.  And boy, are we glad she did!  A couple of summers ago, we lugged a hamperful of their goodies to Dunorlan Park, and spent a magical afternoon scoffing ourselves silly.
There is a dazzling array of antipastis and salads to choose from, but on a cold wintry day we decided to go for comfort, so the lasagne and spicy meatballs it was.  The lasagne was lovely, and the meatballs certainly lived up to their name.  None of those namby pamby so-called "spicy meatballs" you get in an M&S ready meal; these were the real McCoy.  You've got to try these fiery beauties; they definitely sort the men out from the boys.  And with a lovely side salad and bread thrown in - with change from a twenty - you can' t really go wrong.

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Banjo's Deli & Cafe

Ely Court, Royal Tunbridge Wells, Kent

It was a bracingly cold Autumnal day. Our shopping bags were full, our stomachs were empty, and the wife was insisting that nothing else in the world would do but a bowl of Dunorlan Park's legendary home made chicken soup. But I really didn't want to walk that far, so I risked life and limb by persuading her to give the soup of the day in Banjo's a go. This is the confidence I have in Banjo's, because believe me, you do not want to come between my wife and a bowl of Dunorlan's chicken soup.
We popped into Banjo's when it first opened, and we liked it a lot. The staff were exuberantly friendly in the face of the frantic chaos of a newly opened cafe, and, most importantly of all, they did a great textbook Americano. On that occasion I enjoyed a really nice quiche loraine, and got to help my wife out with her very, very generous large mixed salad, which I loved, and I'm not much of a salad man. On this occasion I had a bacon sandwich, small but perfectly formed with really, really good quality, crispy bacon. And the soup? A beautiful, vivid magenta bowlful of beetroot, horseradish and parsnip. A work of art in the bowl and in the mouth.
So does our town centre really need another cafe/deli/sandwich bar? On this evidence, I would say a resounding "yes"; you can't have enough places this good! And it's run by a really nice bloke - so go on, buy a bowl of soup from him - you won't be disappointed!

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The Ragged Trousers

44 The Pantiles, Royal Tunbridge Wells,
Kent TN2 5TN 01892 542715

When Manny submitted a comment to me recommending The Ragged Trousers, I couldn't wait to get down there. My wife and I really like this place. I think its a great place for a pint, and my wife really loves boring me to tears by banging on and on about how great it is that a classic in working class, socialist literature should inspire the name of a pub in a capitalist stronghold blah blah blah yawn zzzzzzzzzzzz.
Anyway, for one reason or another, it would be an absolute pleasure to give the food a glowing review, and also, it put us off from having to bankrupt ourselves at the "ooo, let's open a restaurant in Tunbridge Wells, they're rich and stupid, so they won't notice we're charging over a tenner for sausage and mash" Bar & Grill for another week. If only, if ONLY, we had stuck to the pint of prawns and chips as suggested by Manny, maybe we could have given it the review we wanted to.
Perhaps we were unlucky on the day, because the fish in the "chish and phips" was off, and all the garlic in the world (and it tasted like it WAS all the garlic in the world) could not disguise the metallic taste of the mince in my wife's burger. A shame, because both plates were nicely put together and the sides - particularly my home made tartare sauce - were great. Home made sticky toffee pudding, and mint choc chips ice cream, rather sweetly served with a sprinkling of hundreds and thousands, fared better but I doubt even Prezzo could cock up puddings THAT straightforward. Mind you, I wouldn't bank on it.
We would definitely want to give this place another go and try the snack menu; I've got a sneaky feeling that this is where their expertise lies. It is really upsetting to try a place, and really wish for it to be great, and find it falls short of the mark - perhaps even worse than wanting to hate a place and finding that, actually, you really quite like it.
Two mains, two puddings, a pint and a glass of wine came to a reasonable £33.
Don't let our small sample put you off though, this is a great pub.
Update coming soon...

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Chez JJ

86 Camden Road, Royal Tunbridge Wells, Kent TN1 2QP
01892 525830

Let's not stand on ceremony; I'll come out and say it from the off: I LOVE Chez JJ. I love everything about it. I love the fact its located in the nether regions of Camden Road, between a fish & chip shop and a barbers. I love its woodchip wallpaper, old school decor and its gingham tablecloths. I love the fact the menu is in French, and JJ laughed scornfully at the table who asked him to translate, and couldn't understand a word my Scottish wife was saying. If Prezzo sums up your idea of fine dining, then I can safely say that Chez JJ is NOT the restaurant for you.
And I love the fact that you sit down to a generous basket of bread and a bowl of olives. Anyway, first up: mussels for her, snails for me. I've had plumper, juicier specimens of both, but they were nicely cooked, and its seldom I've eaten snail where I've actually tasted snail, and not just got a mouthful of butter and garlic. I've heard it said that JJ's steak and frites are the best this side of the Dartford tunnel. This is utter nonsense. They are, in fact, the best in the world. Ever. How, errrr, rare (ahem) to ask for a rare steak and to receive a rare steak, and not just be served a brown piece of meat apologetic little strip of pink in the middle, and don't even ASK me to describe how good the frites were - my limited vocabulary just doesn't cover it. The wife had a lovely lamb shank, with a beautiful side dish of flageolot beans, laced with rosemary and garlic. This was more than generous - there was no point to the raw brick of dauphinoise which accompanied it.
I know absolutely zilch about booze and usually wouldn't even bother mentioning it in reviews, but the Muscadet we ordered was so lovely, we almost managed to plough through two bottles. Unfortunately we could have done without the free glass of calvados we were plied with before pudding, which tipped us over the edge from merry to drunk. I can just about remember really enjoying my tarte tatin, which came with a scoop of vanilla ice cream which was so rich and buttery, I could have sworn it was butterscotch. The wife had melon sorbet, which was the sweetest, melony-est sorbet imaginable - just like eating an icy charterais. I can vaguely remember us staggering home, satisfied and fuller than a doctor's wallet. Oh, which reminds me, three courses each and two bottles of wine came to £60, which seems to be quite a rare achievement around these parts.
If you fall into the Live to Eat category and not vice versa, then make sure you put Chez JJ high up on your To-Do list. Just make sure you know your poules from your canards beforehand.

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The Black Pig

18 Grove Hill Rd, Tunbridge Wells, Kent TN1 1RZ
01892 523030

I discovered that the old Orson Welles pub had been turned into a swanky gastropub when I came across a damning review of it on the Restaurant Spy website. The reviewer's bugbear was not the food itself, but the fact that Black Pig was charging an astronomical £30 for steak and chips, poncifying the chips by calling them "pommes allumettes", misspelling wine names, and - worst of all - adding an obligatory 10% service charge to the bill. However, seeing as its sister pub is the fabulous George and Dragon at Speldhurst, we decided to give it the benefit of the doubt and check it out for ourselves.
It's been done out in textbook airy, tasteful gastropub fashion (always a sucker for a bit of black wood), encouraging you to while away the hours over a few pints, and the staff are the friendliest, most efficient I've come across. Mind you, I agree with the restaurant spy reviewer - it would be nice to be able to give them a nice fat tip off your own bat instead of being strong-armed into it. (marks docked from Service for this)
Anyway, looking at the menu, we couldn't find the infamous £30 steak and chips, which may have lulled us into thinking the prices were reasonable. We shared a starter of Game Terrine with Indian Military Chutney & Toasted Brioche. This was a beautiful, ballsy terrine - lovely huge chunks of meat and loads of garlic. I actually dreamed of this terrine last night. Being a working class boy (milky, sweet tea and bread with everything), I always think they skimp on the bread, and Black Pig was no exception.
I had Bavette Steak with the infamous "Pommes Allumettes" and Tomato Salad, served in true George & Dragon style on a wooden board with a metal pail to hold your pommes. No doubt it was a lovely piece of meat, but definitely not rare as requested. Goodness knows what would happen if you ordered medium - would it come back cremated? My wife enjoyed her Slow Roast Belly of Pork with Bean & Bacon Stew immensely, but being a working class girl, she likes her pork scratchings, and this beautifully tender, flavoursome piece of meat would have been elevated from really, really nice to perfection if only the chewy skin on the pork had managed to crisp up a bit. Absolutely no gripes about the delicious lemon posset we shared for pudding, and one pudding proved more than enough for two people.
I doubt this will be the last time we eat here, but until our numbers come up, we can't afford to make a habit of it. Sixty quid for two mains, one starter and one pudding, plus a couple of gins and beers is the kind of bill we expect to fork out at Thackeray's or Hotel Du Vin, and the food, as impressive as it is, is quite simply not in this ballpark. And small details like thumb prints on the side plates (ugh!), and the state of the gents toilets do nothing to help justify their steep pricing policy. As much as we enjoyed our meal, we will probably treat it just as a pub without the gastro from now on.
UPDATE 1Q2008 - We've had a bit of a run on the Black Pig recently, finding it a nice place to stop for a beer on the way home from a long walk. Most recently we decided to eat there again for lunch. It seems the prices have been adjusted in line with most peoples pockets these days, and a lunch of scrumptious venison pie with mash and the marvelous scotch egg and piccalilli with a couple of beers coming in at a bargain £25. Nice place to be, nice place to eat. Star ratings have been adjusted for this update.
UPDATE 1Q2008 - Another visit to the Black Pig has reinforced our feelings that this place has become a firm favourite, this time we had the steak and chips which was served with a really tasty salsa verde for dipping, it must be tried. The beauty of updates is that we have decided to ignore our own initial advice and treat this is a gastro pub with the added bonus of a nice place to sit with a beer to read the paper.

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Kitsu

82a Victoria Road, Royal Tunbridge Wells, Kent TN1 2PW
01892 515510

Positioned on the busy intersection opposite the Victoria Place multi-storey car park, Kitsu is a place we have often walked past but never ventured into.
So when a regular reader, Anne, suggested that it would be a good place to review, it was with a heavy heart that we approached the establishment. It looked so dark and uninviting that we thought it was closed and nearly turned back. "It'll be okay, your readers are very discerning, tasteful people," my wife assured me (riding high on the fact that her shopping entry scored the highest rate of hits on the blog's history). No need to worry about the exterior; the waitress positively beamed at us, and on issuing us with a bewildering war and peace sized menu, gently led us to our wufu side salad and the sakura sushi set menu.
There is a reasonable £2 BYO corkage charge, but really no need for that - go for the apple and lime juice, which is YUM, or the aloe juice, which possibly is even YUMMIER, like a defrosted slush puppy with added bubble gum. Both the salad and sushi were beautifully executed and as easy on the palate as on the eye.
The chef came out to ask if everything is okay, and obviously takes a lot of pride and care in his craft. If sushi isn't your cup of sake, there are a multitude of donburi and noodles to choose from, and believe me, next week we're going back to try them out. And for a measly £21.50, we don't even have to wait for pay day. Thanks for the tip-off, Anne.

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Soprano

56 High St, Tunbridge Wells, Kent TN1 1XF
01892 535842

You could be forgiven for looking at the name above the door and thinking that this is a restaurant specifically catering for Mafia crime bosses or singers with a ponchant for a high note. But you'd be wrong. Well they might come in occasionally, for this restaurant is always packed, every day of the week. In fact it is running as one of the most popular eating establishments in town, and for jolly good reason.
My wife and I arrived rather early expecting to sit at the bar and browse the cocktail menu but miraculously our table was empty so we sat down and ordered a rather cheeky bottle of Prosecco, which at £18.95 was an bubbly luxury. We had booked early, two weeks early, so got the favoured window seats. As we sat in our cool leather swivel chairs looking out onto the street, passers-by stopped and looked in, cars slowed and craned their necks to see what the buzz was on the normally quiet High Street.
Sopranos is a tapas restaurant, and as such your eyes usually tend to be bigger than your belly. So we dived right in and ordered six appetisers from the vast range on the menu:
Chorizo; sticky and chewy, and done to just caremlised perfection
Meatballs in Tomato Sauce; spicy!
Deep Fried Seafood; calamari, prawns and whitebait in batter, we had fights over the last few in this dish
Sardines; whole huge sardines griddled
Tomato and Cheese Salad; a tomato salad with cheese in it, tasted much, much better than it sounds thanks to a gorgeous pesto
Battered Cheese and Parma Ham thingies; an adult version of a childrens classic, deep fried battered ham and cheese, yummy.
In the end it was just all so darned tasty that we just had to make room to finish it all. That was until the dessert menu arrived, and we had to make more. I had the chocolate mouse but was rather disappointed when it turned out to be mousse instead, and my wife had the extremely boozy rum and raisin ice cream. I think next time we'll skip dessert and just order more appetisers.
If I had one complaint is that the tables are a little small and get rather full with all your dishes. Oh and it's so popular you have to book well in advance.
All in the bill came to £50.50. Well worth it for a great night of food, you won't regret it. Just book early!

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ASK

33 Monson Rd, Royal Tunbridge Wells, Kent TN1 1LS 01892 544660

One of my wife and I's more popular haunts. Firstly because of the food, probably the reason you're reading this, and secondly for the view. The view you ask? With its huge panoramic windows the former florists shop gives a wonderful view of Monson Collonade and the hustle and bustle of people shopping, perfect for whilling away your lunch hour with a glass of wine and decent grub.
What can I say about the food? Well as far as pizza restaurants go, and believe me we have quite a few of them in Tunbridge Wells, this rates as one of the best. Beautifully cooked pizzas that literally hang of the edge of huge plates are large enough for even the heftiest of appetites. Bags of topping choices and plenty of other Italian dishes to pick from if your not in the mood for pizza.
Okay so the wine list isn't huge, but what it has on it has been well selected and you'll find a wine to suit all the food range, from anti-pasti to pizza to pasta.
A clean sweep of three stars means you won't be disappointed if your after a nice lunch or can't be bothered to cook and want to pop out. Just remember to get a table by the window.
We'd love to know your thoughts, let us know and leave a comment.

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Pizza Express

81 High St, Royal Tunbridge Wells, Kent TN1 1YG 01892 543112

It just goes to show you what a lovely glut of eateries we have here in Tunbridge Wells, because many a time my wife and I been after Italian food and simply walked right past this restaurant. This time however, we stepped right on in. We were treated to a lovely interior with many tables that all still had a sense of intamacy. You can also sit outside on the High Street if you wish.
We shared a starter of bean and pea shoot salad, expecting the main course to be as guargantuan as sister eatery, ASK. We were left wondering whether or not we should've had separate starters when the pizzas arrived as they were rather on the small side. That is not to say they weren't tasty, indeed they were. My pepperoni pizza was done to perfection with lovely crisp charred edges to the meat, and my wifes vegetarian option was laden with lashings of delicious vegetables.
To overcome the diminutive portions we delved right into the dessert menu with vigour. I was rather disappointed with the resulting ice cream which tasted rather cheap and scooped directly from the freezer. All in all a good fair pizza meal, just not quite as good as ASK.
We'd love to know your thoughts, let us know and leave a comment.

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The Beacon

Tea Garden Lane, Rusthall, Royal Tunbridge Wells, Kent TN3 9JH 01892 524252

We were poking around the Happy Valley, so having heard great things about it, decided to try The Beacon for lunch.   "KerIST, look at the prices; this had better be good" exclaimed my wife as she perused the menu, her Scottish Presbyterian roots coming to the fore.
Although the Beacon has a beautiful interior, we made a beeline for the beer garden, which surely must have the most spectacular view in the county, if not northern hemisphere.  If there is anywhere in Kent you would want to sit on a sunny afternoon and get slowly sloshed, well THIS IS IT.
Firstly, the choice of drink is quite limited, and on a sunny day when you want a nice cold lager, having the choice of such low quality fare as Carlsberg and Red Stripe is a bit of a letdown.
Time to order, and looking at the menu and the plates of other diners it all looked rather promising.  I had the steak, which at £13 you would expect to be rather good.  It wasn't.  The trimmings - handcut chips and onion rings - were great, but hardly made up for the gristle-ridden piece of meat.
My wife had the loin of pork with lentils and chicory salad.  "This is NO way to treat a lentil," she sighed sadly, poking at her overcooked lentils which were drowning in a sauce which had been reduced within an inch of its life.
We decided not to stick around for any more food or even another round of drinks, I suggest you don't either, just go for the view.
Upon further investigation, this pub has been in the running for several awards for its food, I can only come to the conclusion that it was the chefs day off or they cook different meals for the judges. As far as our experience goes, its only a place to sit on a sunny day to admire the view and a bit of a cheek for over twelve quid a course.
We'd love to know your thoughts, let us know and leave a comment.

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Dunorlan Park Cafe

Dunorlan Park, Pembury Road, Royal Tunbridge Wells, Kent TN2 3QD

With a view to die for this cafe has got your breakfast/lunch needs all wrapped up in a neat little package. Boasting what must be the finest English Breakfast in all of Christendom at a price that would make a Scot blush (before you complain, my lovely wife is Scottish so I'm allowed the odd joke about them). The Cafe looking over Dunorlan Park has become my wife and I's new hot place to spend a warm morning in the sun.
The Full English at a bargain £3.50 serves up two thick rashers of bacon, two of those scrummy sausages that taste like posh hotdogs, two absolutely perfectly fried eggs, a gallon of thick baked beans to cover everything in their tomatoey goodness and two rounds of buttered toast to wipe up the excess. Thank goodness this cafe is in a park because you'll need a walk after that lot!
My wife loves their fried egg sandwiches, always good fun to watch the golden yellow yolk spill out onto her lap, their delicious hamburgers and the unbelievably good homemade chicken and vegetable soup, which if you are feeling under the weather is a perfect pick-me-up.
Don't be fooled by the cheap prices on the menu, this food is top notch cafe fare. Grab a seat outside on the balcony and just watch the park life go by, but do it now before they realise how good their food really is and double their prices.

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Carluccio's

32 Mount Pleasant Road, Royal Tunbridge Wells, Kent TN1 1RA 01892 614968

Housed in the old Bank building at the foot of Mount Pleasant, Carluccio's is another in the successful chain of Italian restaurants from Antonio Carluccio offering traditional and modern Italian cuisine. Its one of those restaurants in town which come lunchtime is packed to the gills with yummy-mummies who lunch, but please don't let that put you off, the food is great. I have fallen slightly in love with the Pate de Fegatini di Pollo, or in less Italian, chicken liver pate served with toasted ciabatta bread. I have also become accustomed to asking for an extra slice of ciabatta as the pate/bread ratio is a bit leaning towards pate.
My wife also recently discovered the delights of the most perfect gnocchi in the form of Gnocchi Alla Romana (Light slices of semolina gnocchi, baked with cheese and served with homemade tomato sauce).
I can also heartily recommend literally any of the breakfasts from the morning menu and coffee aficionados won't be disappointed with the perfect crema on your accompanying espresso.
If it's a nice day why not forgo sitting inside, order one of their picnics walk round the corner to Calverley Park and sit on the grass and eat. Fabulous.
If you can ignore the yummies trying to one-up each other by how well their child can colour in the placemats with crayons, its a great place for lunch or preferably breakfast. Just get there either early or late.

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Strada

74-76 Mount Pleasant Road, Royal Tunbridge Wells, Kent TN1 1RJ 01892 520007

One of those want-a-good-meal-but-no-fuss moments brought us to the door of Strada on Mount Pleasant. It's one of those high street chains yes, but if what you want is a good-quality uncomplicated pizza, simple pasta dish or a traditional Italian feast served up before you in a nice presentable fashion and with a low wallet-busting threshold, then you can't really go far wrong.
Even on a weekday night, the restaurant was packed as usual and from what I have observed on my frequent sojourns past the window that seems to be the norm.
The staff are as friendly as usual in these parts and happily deal with a packed room of diners all vying for their attention.
We began, as is only fitting with Italian meals in my book, with a chilled glass of Prosecco. I ordered the Pizze Speck, an Italian smoked ham, gorgonzola and rocket pizza and my wife ordered Linguine allla Pescatora, a wonderful concoction of Sautéed tiger prawns, squid, mussels and fresh clams in white wine and tomato sauce. Both were as excellent as usual, the pizza having that great smoky flavour that comes from the wood burning stove.
I emplore you, even if you are stuffed by the time the dessert menu arrives, you have to order the panacotta, topped with fresh raspberries it is utter heaven on a plate. Worth the visit alone I'd say.
Its worth stating also that if you are off to the Assembly Hall Theatre to enjoy an evenings entertainment, Strada will give you 20% off your bill if you show your tickets. That sure does make it taste even better.

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Hotel Du Vin

Crescent Road, Royal Tunbridge Wells, Kent TN1 2LY 01892 526455

A big event deserves a big place to eat. Wedding anniversary being the event and the Hotel Du Vin being the place.
My wife and I love this place, we have stayed on many occasions. So, apparently, did Queen Victoria, as she stayed here on many occasions between 1826 and 1835.
You can't come here for dinner without a few glasses of something at the wonderful bar with its roaring fire, so that's where we headed first. We hadn't sat down in one of the comfy leather armchairs for more than two seconds before the barman had adorned our table with nuts and olives and thumped down a huge tome of a wine list. Now there isn't enough time in one day to read even half of this list, it is pages and pages and pages and pages. We just gave in and asked the barman to recommend us something half-decent, and with a "yes sir" he scampered off to return with a haste as if his life depended on it a few seconds later with a smart, well spoken (with a very heavy French accent of course) sommelier. It must've been the jacket I was wearing that made him choose a £37 2005 Clos Henri, I was half disappointed he didn't choose a £3,000 Romanée Conti but at the same time a little glad he could read my wallet through my jacket.
We sat and soaked up the atmosphere until we reallised that there is probably no point wasting good tummy space on nuts and olives, so we made our way into the romantic lighting of the dining room.
The food as expected was utterly wonderful, the scallop and black pudding dish that I started with was the best black pudding I have ever eaten, a perfect fat-to-black ratio. I also took the masucline route through my main course by having steak and chips, which could've been cut through with the back of the knife.
My wife predictably fell into her usual fishy trap and ordered tuna carpaccio for starters and the sea bass for main, and whilst I'm not normally a fan, we both agreed that the bass was the highlight of the entire meal, utterly perfectly cooked with a wonderful salty crust.
Again we requested the services of the sommelier to help us choose a suitable wine for each of our courses, which he did perfectly (Ribeauville Ries at £13.50 a glass and Geoff Merill at £8.05 a glass), all the while gesticulating with his hands and muttering enthusiasticly about the wine's flavours and the grapes origins, to be honest it just tasted like great wine.
No meal is complete without at least a glance at the dessert menu. We finally decided on apple crumble and the rather curious peanut-butter ice-cream. Unsurprisingly, my crumble was to die for, and was thankfully missing the normal crumble fault of drying the roof of your mouth. The peanut-butter though, whilst delicious, was very sweet and perhaps could've been a smaller portion, although your kids will love it.
A beautiful place to eat, drink and relax. Highly recommended for a special occasion.

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Java Bean

67-69, High St, Royal Tunbridge Wells, Kent TN1 1XX
01892 689205

"Java Bean!". A cry that often passes my lips when my wife says "where would you like lunch?" Java Bean holds a bit of a reign on my stomach you see, for it houses a benchmark sandwich. Possibly the greatest sandwich in the world. Don't get me wrong, most of the food from Java Bean is absolutely fantastic and no matter what you order you will definitely not be disappointed. But the BLT is a work of genius. Sure the components are pretty simple, but Java seems to pride itself on decent ingredients and it really shows.
I can also recommend their English Breakfasts for a good start to a long day or just to mop up the booze from the night before. My wife also swears by the Welsh Rarebit for perhaps a more dainty hangover cure.
It can be busy in there at times though, probably mostly due to their reputation but also the fact that it's the first cafe that visitors see on their way from the train station down to the Pantiles.
Also unlike most cafes their coffee is very good too. Although it can be a bit expensive its a great place to go and have lunch. Definitely the best cafe in town.

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Sankeys

39 Mount Ephraim, Royal Tunbridge Wells, Kent TN4 8AA 01892 511422

I get a rather bizarre craving every now and again.  When it hits me I can't stop it, it takes over my entire being until it is satisfied, and unlike most cravings its not an unhealthy one.  Its for a giant bowl of Moules Marienniere and an even more gigantic basket of soft bread to dip into the fishy liquor. OK, the cold beer or glass of chablis I order with it is not exactly healthy, but you get my point.  On this basis, Sankeys is the perfect place to satisfy my desires.
Being a pub, it's obviously more slanted towards liquid refreshment rather than sitting and eating gourmet food (see update), and with a choice of literally hundreds of beers from around the world and just as many wines, you won't fail to pick the right tipple to go with your fishy.  Sankeys is a seafood pub you see, and although I never seem to see past the mussels on the menu, I'm told that the rest of the menu is not bad either.
Yes it has crazy crap on the walls, road signs, posters, licence plates and photos of old people no-one knows. Yes the service may be a little slow and cliquey at times, where isn't?  But this is one of those places that is more than the sum of its parts. If you like a good beer, one you won't find anywhere else, then it does exactly what it says on the tin.
UPDATE: Since writing this original review we have been back to Sankeys on several occasions. Once in particular was with some friends who came down from London for dinner. Sankeys was our first choice as everyone was fishy fans. They have now converted the cellar of the pub into much more of a restaurant feel, what with removing the lower bar and installing an open tray of fresh fish for you to choose from. It gives the place a nice intimate feel and we were all really blown away by how good our meals were. You just cannot find better, fresher fish anywhere. We feel that this addition to the pub has elevated Sankeys to a new level and well worth another visit if you haven't been for a while. That's not to mention the fish finger sandwiches in the bar! You just have to try one!  

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Himalayan Gurkha

31 Church Road, Royal Tunbridge Wells, Kent TN1 1JT 01892 527834

This restaurant has a lot of fond memories for my wife and I.  It was the first place we ate at in Tunbridge Wells after moving here and failing to find any of the kitchen implements in the hundreds of moving crates.  It was also the place where we held our pre-wedding meal for our friends and family, and coping with all those fussy eaters and have them all leave the place with a smile on their face is no mean feat.
Forgive me for being a creature of habit, but when you're in the presence of a gastronomic legend you daren't eat anything else for fear of missing out on it (luckily my wife is on hand to test everything else on the menu).  I'm talking about the chef's special, the Bheda Gurhka Masala cooked in its special Himalayan sauce, which if my taste buds are correct, tell me that it has possibly been good friends with a can of Heinz Tomato Soup in the near past, but don't let that put you off.  It is utterly deliciously delicious.  In fact, twinned with a sada naan, which is the best naan bread this side of Kathmandu, for dipping purposes they might as well kidnap your taste buds as you probably won't want to eat anything else for a while.
The staff are always perfectly polite, no doubt years of refinement from dealing with drunks ordering four hundred papadams and the hottest thing on the menu, and the price justifies itself for a cheeky take-away every now and again.
We have been to a certain other Indian restaurant in town, which obviously fancies itself as a Michelin contender and frankly it was awful.  Give me my flock wallpaper, rock classics played on a sitar and ice-creams served fresh from their plastic screwball containers. A proper English Indian.
My wife tells me that the other dishes they serve from the menu are just as good as number 23 (now number 18), if only I could bring myself to order them. 

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Shiraz

98/100 Calverley Road, Royal Tunbridge Wells, Kent 01892 688688

We'd planned a date to come out to eat at Shiraz before the place had even been fitted or decorated. It was the thought of a culinary shift in our normal resturant choices that came with reading the words "Persian Restaurant" in typical gold lettering above the door. "We've got to eat there when it opens" my wife bellowed on seeing the sign. So this weekend we did. On entering the door we were greeted by typical Middle Eastern music and decor, you just can't help but love the slippers on the walls and the delicately painted portraits that probably adorn every such restaurant between here and Tehran.
Okay, down to the most important bit, the food. For starters we ordered Mirza-Ghsmi and Sal-Shirazi, which when it arrived can for all intents and purposes be called garlic paste and potato salad, for that's all they were. Although dipping into them with the fabulous flat Iranian bread that the waitress recommended was heavenly.
For main course I had the Chelo-Soltani kebabs of which one tasted mediocre and the other had a bizarre metallic taste (can anyone explain?), so much so that I couldn't finish it. My wife had the Gheymeh stew which she assured me was good. Both were served with generous helpings of saffron rice arranged on the plate in a style which was a bit too retro for me.
Feeling underwhelmed at this point, the desserts proved to be the highlight. We had Persian ice cream and Rullet, which presumably is the Iranian translation for Arctic Roll, we asked our waitress who rather honestly and somewhat apologetically said she didn't know as she wasn't Persian. The desserts luscious cream was hinted with rosewater which was just beautiful on the Palate and gave a pleasant end to the meal.
It was worth a try and good value, three courses for £42 including a bottle of Pinot Grigio. Perhaps Persian isn't my thing. Have you been, what did you think?

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Relish

28 Camden Rd, Tunbridge Wells, Kent TN1 2PT 01892 544522

We’d given Relish a wide berth since the last disastrous visit, but we decided to follow the recent Camden Road zeitgeist and see if under new management we had any better luck.
Sitting in a great location in Camden Road, Relish is a great place to sit with a very friendly interior, but if you fancy a quiet drink and a relaxing meal, this is not the place for you. Your ears will be ringing from the shrill, incessant whingeing of young Emily or Ben being ignored by their irredeemably middle class parents.
We went on a Thursday lunchtime and it was absolutely packed. Relish are doing a cracking trade, and it didn't take us long to realise why. The burger was good but could not possibIy compete with the braised pig’s cheeks with Jerusalem artichokes which my wife ordered; this surely must be a contender for the Must Try meal in Tunbridge Wells – it was an utterly outstanding plate of food and under a tenner to boot!
Definitely worth a try no matter what the time of day, go see what you think.
Update Spring 2009: We have now been into Relish on more than one occassion and are always very very pleased by the dishes we choose. Choose your times carefully to avoid the rush and you'll be in for a treat. Please note: some of the comments below refer to the Old Relish, the restaurant is now under new management with a great new chef.

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