With some friends and relatives popping in over the Christmas period, its nice to get out and show them something of the local area, and the one place that's always top of the list is The Pantiles. So here in our handy cut out and keep guide, if you are taking your relatives and out-of-town friends onto the Walks for a post-turkey constitutional, are some handy tidbits to pop into your pocket so that you can impress them with your knowledge.:
1. Pointing to Chalybeate Spring (pronounce it "KA-LEE-BEE-AT"), say "This is where it all began, with the discovery of the medicinal spring waters by Lord North in 1606, look you can see the rusty coloured water under that glass dome. The colour is because its main mineral content is Iron Carbonate, so it tastes quite metallic, but will cure anything that's wrong with you, and only 50p too! If you come back in the Summer you can have some"
2. Looking down at your feet, "That's why its called the Pantiles. No not my feet, the big stone slabs I'm standing on. They aren't the original ones though, they're in the museum, well not all of them obviously, but I'm rambling on now. No, these are replacements of the originals bought my Princess Anne in 1698 after her son fell over on the uneven ground, apparently his head was too big and it made him unstable. How much? £100"
3. Pointing at the Tourist Information centre, "You used to be able to buy fish in there. Well a couple of hundred years ago at least anyway, when this square was chock full of the catch of the day from Rye and Hastings"
4. Draw their attention enthusiastically to the gallery above the quaint jewellery shop, casually mention, "That's the music gallery, they had to move the whole thing on rollers in the 1850s to build some shops. According to the act of 1739 you're actually free at any time to go up there and play music to the masses. Anyone got a Spinnet handy?"
5. "Lets get out of the cold for a while and pop into the Corn Exchange. This is where the farmers used to come to exchange their corn" That probably won't surprise them, but then hit them with: "This building used to be a theatre for a while in the 1800s too, you could sit in Kent and watch a play in Sussex" As your interested relatives look at you with confused faces, say "Before the alteration of the County Boundary, the Theatre had the stage in Sussex and the Auditorium in Kent." Bam! You've really got their attention now.
6. "Phew it's been a long walk so far, lets stop in the Ragged Trousers for a pint. See that plaque on the outside, that's for Beau Nash, he was the Master of Ceremonies here on the Pantiles. Nash made sure that everyone enjoyed themselves, to his strict set of rules of course. He kind of made the Pantiles into the fashionable hip place to be seen in the 1700s, hence why you're here visiting me now"
7. "Pity it's not snowing, it did last year. Lulu made it snow. Well actually, Morrisons shipped her and ten tons of snow in for their Christmas campaign, it's said that she still haunts this place every Christmas Eve."
8. Pop your heads out of Woods Passage, gesture emphatically over the road to the fenced off Cold Bath and declare, "You could even bathe in the waters over there in a nice cold bath, we could try it now but the passing traffic and resulting Police prescence might spoil the calming restorative benefits."
9. Finally, casting their, by now, stunned gazes upwards towards the Pantiles Clock, bellow in a nice loud voice, "Legend has it that the head of Decimus Burton, our famous architect, is encased inside the Pantiles Clock and the hands are powered by his thoughts"
Okay, I made that last one up. Good luck and let me know how you get on. Merry Christmas everyone!
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